Etiquette: How to Set the Table

How to Set Your Thanksgiving Table

The smell of cinnamon and apple cider lingers in the air. The sounds of chattering, children laughing and car horns are ever present and never ending. In every direction, there are sightings of sale signs and holiday decorations. Everywhere we venture we can taste samples of sweet and savory goods. And velvet! The luxurious feel of velvet and silk has arrived.

These changes herald the joy, peace and love we hold in our thankful hearts and share with others this time of year. They herald gatherings with loved ones and dinners and parties. As for hosting, may those who do so be especially blessed!

Hosting is a joy and a challenge. There is so much that must be done and so little time to do it and then it's over. To make things just a little easier, keep in mind these tips as you prepare your Thanksgiving feast this year. 

Step 1: Decide your theme and choose your décor. Your theme is simple enough as it is likely to be inspired by the holiday. Some hosts and hostesses like to layer in helping others by having guests bring something for a local toy drive or other charity. 

Step 2: When choosing your décor keep in mind your tastes and resources. Do you want to be elaborate or simple?  Ashley or picnic table? Fine china or paper plates? Whether you set an elaborate table cover or throw together a couple of card tables, the real magic of Thanksgiving Dinner is putting together folks of all sorts, tied by the common threads of family, friendship or cordiality. 

Step 3: Always use a tablecloth for your Thanksgiving table. It sets the standard that something very special is about to happen. Plus, the tablecloth is useful because it hides a multitude of sins including scratches, burns, water marks and the crack between two tables shoved together. White is the color that indicates a very formal affair, however, today's modern world likes to personalize and mix things up. 

Step 4: Strategize your table setting by the number of courses you are serving and when you are serving them. Many people serve Thanksgiving as a two meal course. They lay the entire meal on the table and then offer dessert and coffee when the dinner has been cleared. In this case you will set a plate, napkin, one dinner fork, one dinner knife and perhaps a spoon. Others serve the meal in several courses. In this case you will number your forks, knives and spoon to how many courses you're having. Remember to keep your dishes, napkins and silverware an inch from the edge of the table. This looks good and helps to keep these articles from slipping off. 

Step 5: Setting the table. Stand in front of each place setting as you go. Set the plate or charger in the center of each place. Lay the napkin on top of each plate. Forks go to the left, knives (blades facing the plate) and spoons to the right. You may place the dessert fork and spoon above the plate (fork times pointing right and spoon bowl pointing left) or you may bring them to the table with the dessert at the end of the meal. The charger is only a place holder. If you use one, it is removed when the plate of food arrives.

Think BMW. Your bread plate will go to the left, just above the forks. Your plate for your main meal goes in the center. Your water and wine glasses will go to the right above the knives and spoon.

Place the water goblet above the knife that is closest to the plate. Red wine glass goes to the right of that and white wine glass to the right of that. If you are having champagne, the flute fits just above the water goblet and red wine glass. 

Step 6: Finishing touches. No matter how you set your table, it's the little finishing touches that make all the difference. You may get fancy with individual salt and pepper shakers or bowls. Shakers go on the left and above the bread plate. Salt bowls are placed between each pair of guests. A centerpiece is always nice, keeping in mind that it and any floral arrangements should be kept short so that people can see across the table. Candlesticks are a great idea. Name holders may be used and can be placed above the plate in the plate or in many varieties. A lovely typed or handwritten menu is also a very nice touch and, if added, can be placed on top of the napkin which is on top of your plate or charger. 

A good host or hostess always keeps in mind several things. The comfort of your guests is the most important thing. Lively conversation is mandatory. Mishaps happen. Be prepared for them, be gracious when they happen, and move quickly passed them. Take into consideration your resources. If you only have one size wineglass, just set one. It's all about the experience, not the props. Use what you have. Use it well. And most importantly, have fun. 

To download my holiday dining guide as a gift from me, go to my website www.CarrieGlenn.com. 

Avoid Family Fist Fight Follies!

Thanksgiving Countdown 6 days...

Start practicing silence now. When anyone annoys, irritates, angers or disappoints you, resist snapping or flying off the handle. Give yourself a moment of silence and allow dignity in. 

This also works mid-tantrum! If you find yourself reacting and in the moment think of me (what?! good job!), act on silence right then. It's all good and it takes practice and effort. Like a muscle, the more you use etiquette, the better you get at it. Someday you'll be a pro. 

Or, like me, it may take years 

30 Day Thankful Challenge: Day 3

Thankful challenge. What a lovely and civil idea. Ah November, with its nippy air, darker days, crackling fireplaces, the smell of cinnamon, family time and holiday soirées. It's that time of year when we start thinking about shopping and cooking and baking and loved ones and being thankful. It's also that time of year when we are rushed, stressed, and dealing with all sorts of difficult schedules, situations and even people. This perfectly timed challenge thus carries the honor of providing us a new tradition which adds a mere moment of retrospect, meditation and appreciation to our frazzled and ever-growing daily to do list. 

Perhaps then it's my duty, nay, it's my privilege to jump on this 30 day thankful trend. Today is day three and yes, I have completed days one and two. The funny thing is, today when I awoke I tried to think of something specific for which I was thankful.  

Granted, the cobwebs of sleep had not yet lifted their sticky tentacles from my worn and worried brain. Though I immediately felt guilty that I couldn't think of just the right subject for my "thanks" straight away, I immediately felt thankful for this challenge because it enabled me to start going over in my mind all the things I'm thankful for. You needn't worry. That's not what I'm thankful for today. I'm not that cliché! I have listed my first three days of "thanks" below. Happy reading!

Day 3: I am thankful knowing that my Mommy would be proud of me. She would totally dig my new career, marketing plan, and entrepreneurial spirit. She would even approve of all the investment risk. In fact, if she were with us today, she would be doing EXACTLY what I'm doing. Maybe a different subject, maybe her own spin, but she would so LOVE this brand-new (to me!) entrepreneurial platform. It's just right up her alley.

My Ma's graduation photo 1965

She would tell me, "Go for it Carrie. Live your dreams. Don't stop. Don't have a backup plan. You got this, girl."

And as fear, worry, absolute stricken terror, and EMANATE DISASTER approached, she would gently brush it all aside, insisting it would all work out. 

How?

"IT'S A MYSTERY!"

Day 2: I'm thankful for really great friends!!!

Photo by Dana Davis

Day 3: I am so thankful that I get to do work that serves others, inspires kindness and beauty, and is almost ALWAYS so much fun that even after several hours and working into the night...it doesn't seem like work. Thank you, Jesus!!!"

Why Etiquette and Manners are so important

There are so many joys to be grateful for. I hope I have inspired you to think about your own life and how marvelous and rich with miracles it is.

Thank you for reading and have a fabulous day. 

Carrie Glenn 

www.CarrieGlenn.com

Check out my new YouTube series: Millionaire Manners

This is my fourth video in the series. Thank you for watching!

http://youtu.be/mIlxPUTUgGM

Network Like a Millionaire: 7 Tips for Internet Entrepreneurs

You've just come home from a seminar, convention, or any other event where you've collected a shoebox of business cards (or maybe even just a few cards). What next? "The rich keep it in the family." Have you ever heard this expression? Millionaires are absolute experts at how to network. Why? Because they have honed the art of cultivating relationships. They understand that each of their successes is a contribution to each other as a whole. They protect and honor their connections, even when they have points of disagreement. Learn this time-honored tradition by following the examples of the elite.

1) Organize your cards, jotting a few points of interest on the back of the cards like their nickname, children's names and ages, hobbies, etc. Put the few that you had a deep and/or meaningful connection with aside and email them first. If you are shy or new at this, it will get you into the groove.

2) Email within a few days. The sooner the better.

3) Send personal emails. No mass emails since this is not your email list! Once they sign up to be on your list, then it all gets into the marketing strategy. Until then, please take a little time to get to know them, remind them why they thought you were amazing, and rekindle those sparks of interest. Chances are, they are excited to sign up for your mailing list so don't turn them off!

4) Mention something personal about them, their interests and hobbies, family situations, etc, in your email. Hopefully you jotted notes on the backs of the cards but if not, do your best.

i.e. "I hope your son has gotten over his cold…"

5) Offer them some type of value. AND NO! I am not talking about the type of value used for marketing purposes. Seriously try to find a way to reach out to them. For example, if you met someone who loves golf and you run into a great article on golf, send it to them. If you met two people from the same area that you think would hit it off and be mutually supportive of each other, offer to introduce them. Millionaires are always looking for ways to give to each other and support each other's welfare.

i.e. "I met someone that also lives in (___) and he is a brilliant coach. I bet the two of you would have a lot in common. If you didn't already meet him, I would be glad to give him your email so you can connect."

6) Wait to market. It's okay to have a link under your name that takes your new contact to a website or optin page (remember, if your contact has already showed an interest in your work, they will click on their own) but DON'T mention it or refer to it in your initial email! It's a huge turnoff. I know that Internet Entrepreneurs are geared for this type of marketing and yes, in your next email, go ahead and subtly mention that they can sign up. But in the initial email, it is important to cement your newly established and very fragile relationship.

7) Learn the 1 to 6 Rule: Send your new contact a personal email or phone call every one to six months. Ok. Some of you have thousands, if not more, contacts. Don't worry! You're off the hook. I'm not referring to all of them. Remember those few cards you set aside in step one? The people you connected with on a deeper level? There should only be a small handful of these and each one of these people is worth your time and effort. How do you think that the top pros all go on vacations together? Or dinner? Yachting excursions? Cultivate a friendship that transcends the hope of "a sale". These are the people who will be there for you, celebrate your successes, support your crazy schemes, encourage you when you are having a lull, and laugh with you over wine.

BONUS TIP: Compliment them! It's just good manners. 

Now go send out those emails!

Feel free to download this Original Photo 1-sheet as my gift to you! If you like it, you may purchase the accompanying 13 page Ebook featuring each strategy on an original photo for only $4.97. This is a simple and elegant PDF style Ebook, sure to please.

7 Star Courtesies

Celebrity etiquette: many people, most of the time, can handle being star-struck. Sometimes, though, it simply does make us giddy to the knees. When that happens, these top 7 Star Courtesies can gently guide you:

1. Greet them with a smile and a compliment. The traditional, "I'm so pleased to meet you," is a delightful opener. Follow it up with a direct, specific compliment on their work, art, achievements or affect on your life. "You're so beautiful," is nice but really, they've likely heard that a million times. Be honest and original. Wouldn't you like to be the one fan they go home and tell their friends about?

2. Be as brief as possible. Yes, you will have a few comments and perhaps even a question or two but remember, celebrities are people just like us. Their time is valuable, as is the time of all those in line behind you.
If you must ask a question, LISTEN to their answer. Don't just nod your head and then ask them the exact same question slightly rephrased. Even if they are paid to be at an event, that doesn't give you exclusive ownership of their time and energy. Practicing politeness will assist in making this an enjoyable moment for everyone.

3. Handshaking: hold your hand out for the handshake but do not grab theirs and start shaking wildly! Keep it firm but not crushing, and brief.
***If they don't take your hand (rare, but it happens) just let your arm drop to your side and stay cool. It is EXTREMELY rude not to shake someone's hand no matter the circumstance or even if you dislike them. But we must always handle rudeness with grace and dignity.

4. Hugging: always, ALWAYS, ask first ("may I hug you?" or "may I give you a hug?"). If language is a barrier, open your arms wide to indicate you'd like to hug them. If they are willing, they will lean forward and voilà! Hug! Keep it brief and allow a little air to remain between your bodies- no pressing up into them, no matter how enchanted you are.

5. Picture posing: posing for that upcoming profile pic update on your Facebook? The same principles apply here as with previous two "physical contact tips"- always ask first and keep it brief. Take no more than one or two snaps and thank them for being so kind. And please choose the pic that makes them look the best to post. That's just common courtesy.

6. If you find yourself getting all giddy and starry eyed, just admit it to them and pull yourself together quickly. There is something innately charming about a person's adoration so no need to play it cool. Just don't wrap your body around them until security is forced to extract you.

7. "Thank you!" Remember to thank them for their time and attention to you. Again, that's just common courtesy.

Can moms be right?

Starting a business is fun. I've done it before. Successfully. Only, I had a partner. My mother. This time I am on my own and though it is fun, I realize that that I owe the success of building clientele in previous ventures all to my mom. She was a fantastic sales woman. I say was because we lost our mom last Fall. Boy she could sell. In fact, she's probably selling halos to angels as we speak. Somehow that gene skipped me. I have had exactly two clients. And both approached me. I actually made myself go out into the field to pass out and collect business cards...once...and was so terrified that I had to create an acting scene to make myself do it. And this is where the challenge lies.

So what to do? Give up. Get a "real job" and forget my dream? Well, I absolutely did consider that. And then I thought of my mom. She would be so darn proud of me right now. In fact, I am sure that she is. She would tell me to hold on to that dream no matter what. She always wanted me to find the sort of happiness that only comes from following your dreams. She would insist that I not give up. Then she would tell me that I truly am a gifted sales woman and I would at that point shut down because I know that is not the case. Then I would think all the things daughters start thinking at this point.

She's patronizing me. It's just so easy for her. She thinks she's so much better than me. Why can't she believe that I am not NOT a good sales woman? She always has to be right. Well, she's wrong! And why is she looking at my belly? SHE THINKS I'M FAT! WHY IS SHE CALLING ME FAT?!

Etc., etc., etc!

And it all goes downhill from there. Until I stop and get a hold of my thoughts and remind myself that my ma did not say all those things, nor does she think them. Maybe, just maybe, she actually sees something in me that I never did before. Maybe it's time for me to look harder. I do know this: my mom had a ton of sales training at an early age with Tupperware and then later in life with different careers. Me, nadda! zip! zilch! And that's when it hit me. Maybe I just need training. Not to become one of those pushy, obnoxious sales people, but to learn how to organize my services and present them to those of you who would greatly benefit from them. So I've been studying; reading books like Negotiation Bootcamp, by Ed Brodow, watching webinars by the likes of Brendon Burchard, finishing a 30 day push goal challenge hosted by Chalene Johnson, and I also just signed up with Toastmasters at the Naval Postgraduate School and wow they are tough! I have also interviewed successful marketing gurus like local, Rebecca Riddell, from Riddell and Riddell Advertising .

Rebecca is brilliant! She sat me down and gave me some very good advice, "Here's what I want you to do," she began. "I want you to sit down for two to four hours every day and work out the details of your business. Ask yourself the 5 W's, who, what, where, when, why? Ask yourself how your business benefits you, your family, the community and even the world." Here, when I am usually just worn out by thoughts of I just can't do this!, I am actually squirming on the edge of my seat. Finally! Someone is telling me not just what to do but how to do it.

She went on with more suggestions and then patiently answered my worries with simple solutions and advised me to, "lift the picture of your business to the sky. When you have a question, raise your arms upwards to that picture to find the answer (that's what I do). Work your way down, not up..." Okay, here it got a little trickier but I got it! I understood what she meant because she had already laid the foundation with simple actions steps and concrete questions that would (and have) lead me to answers and more actions steps. I don't know if I can "sell" but I do know I can take definitive action steps that will make the process enjoyable, meaningful, and a great value to my clients. I am truly grateful to Rebecca!!!

So Mom, I guess you are right. You always saw what I never did. I only lacked confidence and know-how and those, those, I can develop easily by asking the right questions and taking the proper steps. I hope you enjoyed reading this blog and even found it helpful.


"If we all practiced manners and civility, what would we then have left to war over?" ~Carrie Glenn

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Thank you for visiting my blog and have a fabulous day!

~Signing off...

Pete's cookies

I owe Pete a plate of cookies.

Pete's the greatest guy, really. He has the softest, kindest voice that just makes you feel calm within moments of being in his presence. His warm smile lights up the room and when he asks you how you are doing, he really wants to know. When you ask him how he's doing, he touches on the highlights: business is good, his family cat is MIA, he's really excited because his son is visiting from college. You get the sense that he loves his life, his family, and his work. He does and it shows.

See, Pete's Auto Body has been a Pacific Grove staple for years. Everyone knows that if you want a good, honest deal and beautiful craftsmanship for your newly banged up ride, you go to Pete. And we also know that he will help you out if you need it. He's done it twice with me and this last time, he really went all out, personally absorbing several hundred dollars so that my back window would roll up and down again. The car is beautiful and when I picked her up, I was absolutely thrilled with the job that he did and I promised him cookies.

Pete passed away early in February, 2013; just a few weeks ago. And still…

I owe Pete a plate of cookies.

Remember to honor your promises when you make them. Do it Now. You never know when you might loose your chance.

Thank you for visiting my blog and have a fabulous day!




"If we all practiced manners and civility, what would we then have left to war over?" ~Carrie Glenn

~Signing off...




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Visibility at Hand

So, part of being the expert consultant for Etiquette at Hand, is transparency. Displaying manners is not about smiling and pretending everything is always OK. It's about finding the most civil and graceful way to get through even the toughest challenges. So I have decided that my blogging will not only include the expected manners and etiquette tips, quotes, etc., but will also include my journey with this company. The good days. The challenging days. The days I totally break down and lose it. Like today.

I can't! I can't! I CAN'T!!! I just can't do it all, I fear. There is so much to be done to start this business- the networking, marketing, and planning- all these are overwhelming when I've already quit my job and am now watching my funds sweep away with no hope to pay my rent in March. No one is going to care about this. No one will sign up for classes. Who am I? What makes me so special? And with all the work that needed to be done, I just sat in fear. Or terror, rather. And I cried. Or sobbed, rather. Then I prayed. Or yelled at God, rather.

And there was no relief. No clap of thunder. No great awakening. In fact, a while later, I got a call from a friend who suggested I get a part time job… Well meaning advice, but I just quit a job to get my business started. I really want to put everything into Etiquette at Hand and I need all the hours in the day to do it. So why do I spend so much time paralyzed with fear? What is wrong with me? My room is a mess. The dishes have taken permanent residency in the sink and on the surrounding counters. My balcony looks like a junkyard. All these things have to change in order for me to be successful since I am basing my business out of my home at first. I am truly terrified.

Then I went to ballet. I didn't want to. Well, I did want to but I was so stressed and really beside myself that going to ballet at that moment seemed more akin to getting a root canal. However, I went and class was cancelled. While chatting with friends I told them about my new intended career. As I explained how etiquette can be used to actually help relationships, I felt my sense of purpose returning.

To be honest, I was not raised to be polite. At all. And even up through the last few years, it was hit and miss. As long as everything went my way, or at least went somewhat well, I was the picture of perfect politeness. But hurt my feelings, be mean to me, treat me or a loved one with disrespect, and my Irish blood could boil your hair off. And when I was knee deep in the most challenging conflict of my adult life, I stopped. I read a quote… okay… just spent 15 minutes trying to find it but can't. So I will have to paraphrase and hope that one of you know what it is, who said, and to whom I can give credit for this piece of golden advice, since it did change my life. So here goes:

"If you smile at your enemy and show great manners towards them, they will not even know they are your enemy, thus giving you the upper hand."

Treacherous, right? And thus began my quest to "personalize" my manners. I got the jerks off my back and regained my dignity. But something else happened. I wondered what would happen if I applied my newfound idea to my everyday pals and family members. It was a slow and painful journey and I still slip occasionally, but practicing politeness has improved every single relationship I have. You can't yell at your daughter if you are being polite. You can't interrupt your son-in-law if you are being polite. You can't get all mad at your friend for disappointing you if you are being polite. It's a conscious choice, though elusive at first, and soon became the hallmark of my new lifestyle. This doesn't make me a doormat (just ask an ex-colleague who failed at bullying me in the workplace when I used polite but firm actions to stop her). It just gives me choices that actually work.

 As I relayed this to one friend, she was super excited and even suggested I write a book. And I am BACK!

"If we all practiced manners and civility, what would we then have left to war over?" ~Carrie Glenn

Etiquette at Hand on Pinterest;
Etiquette at Hand on Twitter;
Etiquette at Hand on Facebook;

Thank you for visiting my blog and have a fabulous day!

~Signing off...

Hello world!

Well, hello, World! This is my first ever blog and I am so excited to join the world of blogging. Since I love to write, I am not sure why I haven't started sooner but nonetheless, here I am. My name is Carrie and I shall be blogging for my new business, Etiquette at Hand.

Etiquette at Hand is the Monterey Bay's premiere learning center for etiquette and manners. Ok, so I know you are immediately thinking, fork on the left, spoon on the right...right? First: correct! Bravo! And learning this part of manners is very important, especially if you plan on dining at the White House any time soon (or you're about to meet your future mother-in-law). But we don't stop there!

At Etiquette at Hand, we have a three-fold mission:

1. Emphasize civility and courtesy: treating one another with kindness, compassion, and empathy.
2. Enhance communication: practice using politeness in everyday conversations and conflicts to optimize how we relate with others.
3. Enjoy the moment: having a set of etiquette principles already in place affords us the time and luxury to completely enjoy ourselves whilst dining, entertaining, on outings, or simply savoring a cup of tea.

So that is the basics of Etiquette at Hand. Welcome to our blog! And since I know that you cannot get enough of proper manners, etiquette tips, and tea party enthusiasm, be sure to like us on Facebook, tweet us at Twitter, check out our totally cool Pinterest, and view us on Youtube (well, we don't really have anything on Youtube yet but as soon as we do, I'll certainly blog it here!!!). Please feel free to comment and/or ask questions and I will be delighted to answer.

"If we all practiced manners and civility, what would we then have left to war over?" ~Carrie Glenn

Etiquette at Hand on Pinterest;
Etiquette at Hand on Twitter;
Etiquette at Hand on Facebook ;

Thank you for visiting my blog and have a fabulous day

~Signing off...