How to Properly Date Women by Carrie Glenn
Flowers...check. Card...check. Reservations...check...I
know, I know. Valentine's Day is over. For many, it was wonderful and for
others...well... Not so much. Many of us experience #datingfail to some degree.
Check out these dating tips and allow me to give you the top ten dating
etiquette tips to help facilitate the success of your next date night plans.
Whether it's your first date, your fiftieth, or perhaps it is the day you plan
to propose, following these tips gives your lover the chance to relax and see
you at your best.
Give her
direct compliments and skip the critiques. It's date night! Criticizing your date
(even jokingly) is like bringing a third wheel to the table. It is rude and
unnecessary. Instead, give her direct compliments, starting with a great compliment
the moment you see her. A direct compliment is one that emphasizes the word
"you," e.g., "You look lovely," or "You're so
funny!"
Use direct
eye contact and good posture to demonstrate your attentiveness. This may seem like a
no-brainer yet check out the couples next time you are out and about. Watch how
often they don't look at each other
or turn their bodies away to hunch over their phones. Sit up! Shoulders relaxed
and squared. Lean towards her. Watch her move. Watch her push back her hair.
Watch her lips move as she talks. Look into her eyes.
Open the
car door for her! Yes!
She can open her own door. She is
strong and self-reliant. Opening her door in no way demeans the woman's journey
to equality. It is just good etiquette. It doesn't matter how long you've been
dating or even married, opening the car door for your lady reminds you both on
a pretty constant basis that there are basic guidelines in manners that we
follow to demonstrate civility and courtesy. And of course this goes for all doors such as the house door and the
door to the restaurant.
Prepare
for the journey. How
you travel says a lot about you. Showing her you put some thought into the
mundane aspects of the date tells her that you care about her wellbeing. If you
are going in your vehicle, have it cleaned. If you are using public
transportation, be sure to plan your routes, have fare readily on hand, and be
a gentleman to all travelers (and do please keep your knees together while
seated). If you are on foot, walk on the curbside of the sidewalk. Hold her
hand or allow her to take your arm yet refrain from taking hers or grasping her
elbow (it feels awkward and uncomfortable).
Give
yourself the Wow Factor. Experts agree that it takes less than 30 seconds for someone
to sum you up. Your head, hands and feet are the top three attention grabbers
so wear a great hairstyle and/or hat and a sincere smile. Clean and file your
nails (really, this is non-negotiable) and moisturize your hands. Make sure
your shoes are well maintained and polished. She may not think to comment on
these aspects yet she will surely appreciate them. Show up with a small token
of your affection in your hand and the most fabulous smile on your face.
Demonstrate
grace under fire. All
the little things that can go wrong on a date can add up quickly. Slow traffic.
A fender-bender. Your reservation is lost. The train is late. The couple next
to you thought it would be lovely to allow their new bundle of joy to exuberantly
exercise his lungs throughout dinner. How you handle conflict will either be a
turn on or a turn off. Remember, it's date night so have fun and be easy-going!
(That said, wouldn't it be just as lovely to hand the aforementioned couple your dinner bill on your way out? One
can fantasize...)
Ask her
for a favor. Which
came first, the chicken or the egg? It seems natural to assume that when we
like someone, we are happy to do nice things for him or be nicer to him.
However, studies show that when we do something for someone, we grow to like him
more. So give her an opportunity to like you more by asking for her help. Any
favor will do. You could ask her to help you pick out a tie (a great way to
secure a future date). Be prepared to reciprocate!
Loyalty is
key so have her back. And the scene goes like this: The laughing couple talk enthusiastically. They casually brush fingers,
their eyes smoldering with desire... She brings up the latest office gossip and
complains about a co-worker. He tries to make her feel better by underplaying
said co-workers evil plot to destroy her. Her back goes up and she slips her
hand from his, sliding it into her lap. How could he defend the one person who
might crush her promotion dreams? Maybe he's not the one... I see this all
the time with couples and even between friends. Here's the thing, trying to
minimize a woman's worries only serves to put into question her ability to
perceive and translate events. Also, unless a woman asks for advice, she
doesn't want it. If you really want to help this uncomfortable moment pass
quickly, simply listen and acknowledge her struggle. Save the strategic planning
session for a non-date night.
Remember
your date night theme at all times. Are you planning to propose? Are you celebrating
falling in love or an anniversary? Are you simply excited for the excuse to get
out of the house? Begin with the end in mind. Whatever your plans, remember
them! Don't allow circumstance to rob you of your fun. Be pleasant, let
conflict fizzle, honor your relationship.
Practice
good table manners. Remember
BMW: your bread is on the left, your meal is in the middle and your wine, water
or other beverage is on the right. Pull out her chair for her unless the wait
staff does it. Follow her cue on when to place the napkin in your lap, take the
first drink, and take the first bite of the meal. It's very unattractive to
still be settling into our seats while our date starts wolfing down the bread
or worse yet, dinner. During the toast, look her in the eyes up until you tip
your head back to sip your beverage. Break off one bite of bread at a time,
butter and eat it. Be courteous to all wait staff. Eat your meal in time with
hers (not too fast so she has to finish alone awkward! and not too slow so that she feels as though she ate too
fast). Tip well.
"If we all practiced manners and civility,
what would we then have left to war over?" ~Carrie Glenn
Thank you for visiting my blog and have a
fabulous day
Signing off...
Bio:
Carrie Glenn helps people learn to consistently
practice manners so that they can get more of the things they want. She is an
expert speaker and coach in workplace civility, career etiquette, and effective
communication. From the dining room to the boardroom, her unique training
provides powerful social skills that deliver results. She is the founder of
Etiquette at Hand, where she teaches everything kind, classy, and beautiful.
Carrie Glenn is delighted to empower clients to learn how to take command of
the room, enhance their relationships, and confidently reach their career and
relationship goals. To learn more about her visit carrieglenn.com.
